Being an FTM is expensive
I am a man trapped in a woman’s body. It sounds like an episode of the Twilight Zone, but I guarantee you that this is my life. When I think about how I look in my head, I don’t picture what I look like on the outside. I see a “normal” man. When I look in the mirror, it’s kind of surprising to see that the person staring back at me has boobs. It disgusts me that I have boobs. It disgusts me that I have all the anatomy of a female and none of a male. I literally get sick sometimes.
Talking about my body makes me uncomfortable because this isn’t my body, at least it isn’t supposed to be. In order to look like how I know I should I have to have surgery after surgery. Surgeries that are expensive and I most likely won’t be able to have them all.
The Surgeries
If I could afford it, these are the surgeries I would get.
Mastectomy
This is a fairly common surgery and it’s pretty well known. A mastectomy is where they remove the mammary glands and fatty tissue from the breasts. Basically, I’m getting rid of my boobs. I’d get this surgery first because my boobs are the first giveaway that I’m not a guy. This surgery can cost anywhere from $1,500 to $8,500. In some cases (so I’ve heard), the doctor can get the insurance company to pick up some of the tab, but most likely I’ll have to pay for it.
Hysterectomy/Oopherectomy
I’m not going to need my uterus or my ovaries. I’m not going to have kids, at least none popping out of me. I don’t want an inch of anything female left in my body and removing my uterus and ovaries would be a huge deal. This surgery runs from $7,000 and $15,000 dollars. In some cases, the insurance company will pick up some of the tab if it can be proven that this surgery is health related. For example if you have a history of abnormal bleeding or pap smears, among other things.
Genital Reconstruction Surgery
I’m not sure if I would ever get a genital reconstruction surgery (GRS). The FTM GRS is pretty complicated and pretty expensive. And while there have been some advances made, my sex life would suck. A penis that is constructed won’t have any sexual function, at least not natural. Sensation is very limited if at all. These surgeries cost anywhere from $2,000 to $150,000.
Not all FTM’s feel the need to have surgeries and you don’t need the surgeries to be a man. But for me, in order for me to be happy and comfortable, I will eventually need these. I know right now that I can’t afford them, but if I could I’d already have had them.
I can’t even begin to imagine what you are going through but you seem to have a good understanding of yourself and seem to be very in touch with your emotions. And that can never be a bad thing.
Expensive is an understatement! Insurmountable almost comes close.
And then there’s the roadblocks set in the way for people like us by the people who are supposed to be helping us.
Anyhow, I liked your gender video on YouTube, you were very nervous, and I understand that. The first video blog I made, I walked down the street for almost a half mile with the camera on before I was able to start talking…
Please, make more video blogs on the subject! I look forward to seeing them!
@ Veronique: I wouldn’t go so far as to say that I understand myself and that I’m in touch with my emotions. I think I’m just as confusing to myself as I am to someone else or as someone else is to me. All I know is that this is who I am and I have to deal with it one step at a time.
@ Tanya: They are very expensive surgeries, and while they are for me I can’t help but thinking they are also partly for society. Will they really except me if I don’t physically look like the “gender” I identify with? I plan on doing more videos, I’m working on one now and it should be up this weekend.
Knowing several Post-Ops, I can say sometimes it’s easier, and sometimes it is not… I have issues because I have a very strong upper body and narrow hips…
Have you looked at any of Loren Cameron’s work? Very good FtM photographic artwork. I highly recommend him.
Yea, I did check out Loren Cameron. Very good stuff. For anybody else that’s reading this and wants to know what we’re talking about, here’s the link: http://www.lorencameron.com/
I found my way here through your transgender video blog on youtubue, and decided to speak up because part of what you are saying about genital surgery for FTMs is incorrect. Yes, they are very expensive. That part’s right. But I haven’t heard of too many trans men that’ve gotten a phalloplasty or metoidioplasty who didn’t have some sort of erotic sensation. The new technology on phalloplasties is to have them utilize nerves from other parts of your body, and hook them up to the neophallus and the erotically sensate piece of flesh that’s there already. So, they can be satisfying, sexually. And, functional, though obviously not all the same functions as a penis.
take care,
Jay