Hard at work

I’ve been working on a couple of projects lately that have kept me pretty busy. I’m not going to announce them just yet, but one will be ready to announce by the end of next week, hopefully.

For anyone just coming to my blog, you’ll soon find out that I’m Trans. I don’t hide it, and I probably don’t talk about it enough, but I’m not ashamed of it. I started this project last year, as a blog about Trans news. But as I got to thinking more about it, I realized that I could do so much more.

Trans people deserve to be heard just like everyone else. It’s not easy to come out as Trans. When I came out as Trans on my site I received a lot of support from my friends and from people that I had just met. It was a great feeling. At the same time, I’ve received some hurtful comments and e-mails. While I know that in the big picture, it shouldn’t matter, the negativity that seemed to jump out of the screen from those comments and e-mails got to me. I can only imagine what kinds of things other Trans people have heard, or read.

It’s sad when people are so narrow-minded and think the only solution to our “problem” is that we need God in our life. It’s also sad that people just don’t want to understand who we are, but just want to put us down. I’m not after special treatment, I’m after what everyone else wants and what some people already have. I don’t consider myself to be less of a person, and it’s sad that some people view me as such.

Anyway, I’m getting off topic. Next week I’ll be launching my project officially. So be sure to check back then. If there are any fellow Trans people reading this and want to know what it is early, shoot me an email or IM me. I’ll be happy to fill you in. I have a few more kinks to work out, so it would be nice to have some beta testers.

Ep. #2 – Discrimination and shiznet

Finally, Episode 2 has arrived. I’m sorry if I sound a bit pissed off or angry or upset. I had just gotten in a fight with my dad, so I might have sounded like I was a bit t’d off. I talk about a couple of laws that Congress in mulling over and I also talk about some personal feelings about discrimination. You can view the video after the jump. Show notes follow the video. Continue reading

Gender War on America’s Youth: 50 under 30

On December 28th, the Gender Public Advocacy, or GenderPAC, released a report about violence against gender non-conforming people. From doing my own research into Transgender violence, I can say that it’s not easy to find numbers. It’s under reported but you know it happens. At this time, the United States government doesn’t require the FBI to track gender based hate crimes, and according to the GenderPAC report, if the FBI did keep track, then gender based hate crimes would outweigh every category except race.

Continue reading

Follow-up to Ep. #1 – What is Gender?

I’m getting ready to do Ep. #2 and I figured while I’m preparing I would take a look back at the first episode. Here are some stats on the first episode:

  • 733 views, 4 comments, 5 times faved on YouTube
  • Countless emails, comments, and IM chats
  • Posted on a class blog!

What I Think

Besides it being of crappy quality, I think it was a success. More than anything, I wanted to get it out there and I wanted to make people think. I think that is what happened and so, I’m counting this as a success. There are some things that I would change or clarify better, but overall, it was pretty good for the first one.

While I’m here, I wanted to address some of the comments that were made on the class blog. It’s a great discussion and I recommend checking it out. I want to thank whoever did it because I enjoyed reading the comments and I also liked knowing that it did make people think, even if briefly. Continue reading

Being an FTM is expensive

I am a man trapped in a woman’s body.  It sounds like an episode of the Twilight Zone, but I guarantee you that this is my life.  When I think about how I look in my head, I don’t picture what I look like on the outside.  I see a “normal” man.  When I look in the mirror, it’s kind of surprising to see that the person staring back at me has boobs. It disgusts me that I have boobs.  It disgusts me that I have all the anatomy of a female and none of a male.  I literally get sick sometimes.

Talking about my body makes me uncomfortable because this isn’t my body, at least it isn’t supposed to be.  In order to look like how I know I should I have to have surgery after surgery.  Surgeries that are expensive and I most likely won’t be able to have them all.

The Surgeries

If I could afford it, these are the surgeries I would get.


This is a fairly common surgery and it’s pretty well known.  A mastectomy is where they remove the mammary glands and fatty tissue from the breasts.  Basically, I’m getting rid of my boobs.  I’d get this surgery first because my boobs are the first giveaway that I’m not a guy.  This surgery can cost anywhere from $1,500 to $8,500.  In some cases (so I’ve heard), the doctor can get the insurance company to pick up some of the tab, but most likely I’ll have to pay for it.


I’m not going to need my uterus or my ovaries.  I’m not going to have kids, at least none popping out of me.  I don’t want an inch of anything female left in my body and removing my uterus and ovaries would be a huge deal.  This surgery runs from $7,000 and $15,000 dollars.  In some cases, the insurance company will pick up some of the tab if it can be proven that this surgery is health related.  For example if you have a history of abnormal bleeding or pap smears, among other things.

Genital Reconstruction Surgery
I’m not sure if I would ever get a genital reconstruction surgery (GRS).  The FTM GRS is pretty complicated and pretty expensive.  And while there have been some advances made, my sex life would suck.  A penis that is constructed won’t have any sexual function, at least not natural.  Sensation is very limited if at all.  These surgeries cost anywhere from $2,000 to $150,000.

Not all FTM’s feel the need to have surgeries and you don’t need the surgeries to be a man.  But for me, in order for me to be happy and comfortable, I will eventually need these.  I know right now that I can’t afford them, but if I could I’d already have had them.

Ep. #1 – What is Gender?

Well, this is the first in a series of videocasts that I’ll be doing. The first one is on gender. I briefly discuss what gender is and what transgender means. I’m sure I’ll get into more detail about these topics later on in the series, but for now I thought I would take small steps. If you have any questions or comments don’t be afraid! I don’t bite.



  • Transgender – “People who were assigned a gender, usually at birth and based on their genitals, but who feel that this is a false or incomplete description of themselves.” “Non-identification with, or non-presentation as, the gender one was assigned at birth.” Wikipedia
  • Transsexual“Transsexual people are often people who desire to have, or have achieved, a different physical sex from their original physical sex. One typical (though oversimplified) explanation is of a “woman trapped in a man’s body” or vice versa. Many transsexual women state that they were in fact always female gender, despite physically being male; transmen feel exactly the opposite.” Wikipedia
  • Genderqueer – “It suggests nonconformity or mixing of gendered stereotypes, conjoining both gender and gayness, ‘pluralistic challenges to the male/female, woman/man, gay/straight, butch/femme constructions and identities.’” Wikipedia


The Gender Spectrum